Pre-party anxiety?

Does anyone else get this?
This is the best name I could give it.

I googled it, and it seems like its the anxiety before going to a party.
I get it when throwing a party.

When I was younger, my parents constantly forgot my birthday.
I know, awe.
It really still affects me today.
In fact, I still don't throw birthday parties for myself.
I stopped probably when I was a teenager.

You see, any time there has been anything exciting happening in my life, I pretty much had to plan it myself.
There was only one time I could think of where I had someone do everything for me, and that was my first baby shower.

My boss teamed up with one of reps (I was a manager at the time) and together they put on a baby shower for me.
I had no idea what was going to happen (which, if you know me, doesn't always go over well with me. I like to be prepared for what to expect with everything). All the food, games, etc were taken care of. All I did was show up, play along with whatever was going on, open gifts and go home. It really was nice. There was no stress. I just enjoyed the party.

My second baby shower was a team effort between myself and a friend of mine (coworker). Just a few things that we worked on together and she helped as much as she could.

Over the years, I have thrown parties for myself (which I stopped doing a long time ago) and my kids and I seem to get the same results.
What happens is that I get super excited about having a party and having people over at my house (since I actually never go out and do things- I guess I'm kind of a hermit- I spend time with my family and not much "socializing") and I go all out with decorations and making yummy food (I'm a pretty bomb cook and baker btw) and get everything ready in advance and get the kids excited and hype them up that it's going to be so fun…. then, the day of the party comes.
And, no one shows (or only like 5 people when I invited tons since I know tons of people and I have tons of people say they are going to come and then the day of they all have something come up).
Now, I know that things happen.
I understand.
However, it is still frustrating. No. Maybe frustrating is not the right word here. Depressing.
This has been how it has been my entire life.
A continuous circle of disappointment.

Now, I can't, as a good parent, let my kids see this.
I have to still put on parties for them and beg my bum off to get people to show (yes, I have actually begged people before for my son's party when almost no one was going to show and we were about to lose our party table at Chuck E Cheese because we didn't even have 5 kids- and 2 of the ones we had were mine!).
I still get super excited with them and tell them that they are going to have an awesome time.
I still do what any good mom would do.

However, I get pre-party anxiety every time.
I panic when I get a bunch of "something just came up" or "oh we already have plans" or "I totally forgot about a thing that we already have that day".
My thought process led me to ponder when I get invited to parties.
I go to almost every one (unless I have tickets to like the Nutcracker or something) I get invited to.
I hardly ever miss a party.
I buy gifts (well, there has been a time or two here and there I totally spaced it out and felt AWFUL).
I show up (not always on time, but I do my best) and I stay as long as I am able with 2 rowdy kids.
So, does that mean that I am not important enough to those around me to make parties that I throw a priority? Or, am I over analyzing this?

Now, I have had challenges in the past with invitation.
I have sent social media invites, emails, text messages, calls and still have the same results.
I have sent actual invitations and they are about the same as well.
Not sure what is supposed to work out best here.

So, for this Gender Reveal Party, I did not have anyone to help me with the party.
I did it all myself.
I am proud of the planning I did and I think the party is going to be awesome.
The challenge is getting people to attend.

With all this being said, I am NOT looking for a pity party here.
I am just expressing some thoughts and anxiety on my part.
Why? I'm tired. It is a lot of work to put on a party for people (that is why I make an effort to attend as many parties as I can if I am invited since I know the work put in), and it might just affect me more then others when only a few people show just because of my past experiences.

So, today, my anxiety started kicking in for the party coming up this weekend.
I have everything ready on my end.
My house is clean (minus a few small last minute details). The decorations are purchased. The craft stuff is pretty much done.
All I have left is the baking (which will be done on Friday to provide the yummiest and freshest treats), putting out smelly good candles, decorating, and picking up the food and cake (which all of that will be done last minute on Saturday).
Do I have high hopes for this party?
No.
Do I hope I am wrong?
Yes.
Will this party determine whether or not I do a baby shower? (I am on bed rest, so I don't have any coworkers who will want to help me put together a shower, so I know I will have to do it all myself.)
Yes it will.
I don't think I will have it in me to do 2 parties so close together when it feels like no one is going to come.
Thanks anxiety. You're totally awesome. Not.